Sunday, January 11, 2009

Anniversaries: 5 Things All Guy's Should Know

If you're in a serious relationship with a girl, there are five things about anniversaries YOU MUST KNOW. Let's define "serious" as a relationship lasting three months or more. By the time you've passed this magical threshold, you should be keeping track of, and acknowledging your monthly anniversaries. How do you do that? Well here's a crash course.
  1. DON'T FORGET: Even if this means you have to invest in a calender, or enter it into your cell phone, DO IT! If you're lucky, you'll be with the kind of girl who won't decapitate you for not remembering every little date (held hands: April 17, 8:47pm, kissed: June 6, 9:48pm, went to first foreign film September 9...). But even if she's easy going, it will mean a lot to her that your relationship with her is important enough to you to remember. Anniversaries are important because the longer you are together the more serious the relationship is. It's also a way to mark all the good times you've had. And it's an opportunity to show her how special she is to you.
  2. REMEMBER THE BIG ONES: My personal rule when it comes to defining the "big ones" (for relationships under year) is the 1-3-6 rule. The first month of dating is always significant because you've changed units of counting. It's no longer "we've been dating for three and a half weeks", it's "we've been dating for months". Three months is when a relationship can begin to be considered serious (at least for a high schoolers). It's assumed that if you've made it three months you'll at least make it another three, maybe even a year (excluding the presence of great drama throughout). Six months is a big deal because you're half way to your next big unit of counting (unless some strange soul out there uses quarters): the YEAR. It's a huge halfway mark. A simple "Happy Anniversary" and a hug might suffice for all the others (2-5, 7-11). But even then, a card might be nice.
  3. LET HER KNOW YOU REMEMBER: Even if she knows you thought about it, she still needs to hear you say "Happy Anniversary". She needs to hear you acknowledge it to her. Even if it's on the phone. And if it's a big one, do something special. Go out to dinner, make her dinner (not before six months), give her flowers, get her a stuffed animal, get her something associated with her favorite band, artist, hobby, sport, or author. Make it special by reminding her she's special.
  4. IF YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT DO TO FOR HER... ask her! This doesn't mean that you ask her what animal and what kinds of flowers she likes, and then go out and purchase those exact things for her. This will make her feel like an obligation, which for some girls is worse than nothing. This means you approach her with a question like, "So our anniversary is coming up... I think it would be fun to do something together. Do you have any feelings about what we should do?" This way, instead of looking completely clueless, you look like you're merely getting her imput. You've also let her know that you've been thinking about the date and want it to be special. You may end up doing exactly what she suggested. That's okay, as long as you tell her ("You're right, bowling sounds great. Let's do that."), and you supplement it with something original. Don't panic, "original" can include a bouquet (big or small) of her favorite flowers, plush toy, or funny card. Just as long as she knows you did some thinking on your own.
  5. IF YOU DO FORGET...acknowledge it. Let her know you forgot or got distracted, or whatever. Apologize, and then do something anyway. It will mean a lot to her that you bothered to make it up. If she's gracious, she'll give you a second chance without putting you in the dog house (as long as you don't make a habit of it).
Remember these five things and you'll keep both you and your special someone happy. After all, it's not just about dates and times, it's about showing her you care.