Kissing!

Kiss–verb (used with object)

1.	to touch or press with the lips slightly pursed, and then often to part them and to emit a smacking sound, in an expression of affection, love, greeting, reverence, etc.

(http://dictionary.reference.com)

Have you ever really thought about kissing? No, I don't mean who you'd like to kiss. I mean the act itself. It's not as simple as one might think. When I started researching for this blog (No, it's not like you think, most of it was on sites like Webster, so get your mind out the gutter already!:) I got a little overwhelmed. So I decided to break it down by making a list of all the different kinds of kisses there are (excluding the totally disgusting/un-kosher/strange). Without getting too in depth, here are the top ten:

1. Hand kiss (a kiss on the back of the hand)
2. Palm kiss (a kiss in the palm of the hand)
   
3. Cheek kiss (a kiss on the cheek)
4. Forehead kiss (a kiss on the forehead)
   
5. Neck kiss (not to be confused with necking)
6. Common kiss (the traditional lip-to-lip with its sub-genres of: a) the brush, b) the peck, c) the half-french (no tongue), and d) the smacker)
7. French kiss ('nuff said)
8. Breather (breathing/whispering against one's cheek or lips)*
9. Eskimo kiss (rubbing noses)*
   
10. Butterfly kiss (fluttering eyelashes on one's cheek)*

*not always considered a kiss in technical terms

It's a pretty long list for just covering the basics. One has to wonder about what it all means. So, because I'm bored, girly, and bored I decided to do a classic magazine analysis of the topic. First let's assume that the two people doing the kissing are in a (at least dating) relationship and within an appropriate age range. Yes? Okay. Now I'm going to go through my sultry little list item by item and address four things:
a) Time
b) Intensity
c) Setting
d) Message

Ready? Okay.

1. Hand kiss (a kiss on the back of the hand)
a) There's no standard length of time for this kiss, but like most, the longer it lasts, the more intimate it becomes. But after about 3 seconds it becomes awkward.
b) Depends on the length of the kiss, but for the most part the is a low pressure, low intensity kiss. But the intensity factor is upped by the fact that this style of kiss is rather vintage and thus comes off as chivalrous and romantic.
c) This type of kiss can take place anywhere, if it's brief enough. In a crowd, in private, as long as it's not made terribly obvious (say at a get-together with only a few friends) it's appropriate almost anywhere.
d) "I adore you", "You're a queen", "Goodbye", "I have a cold sore"

2. Palm kiss (a kiss in the palm of the hand)
a) Again, less than three seconds is a pretty good estimate...
b) Waaaaay intense (especially if it lasts a whole three seconds). This is the kind of kiss you shouldn't expect (or give) until you've been dating the same person exclusively for at least a month or two. It's almost more intimate than some of its more, ahem, face-oriented cousins.
c) Definitely not in front of people. While, like the traditional hand kiss, it is perfectly appropriate in public (and by 'public' I mean in open areas occupied primarily by strangers), like most kisses (and as a general rule), it should not take place in front of friends.
d) "I adore you", "I love you", "I want you (a departure from the more traditional hand kiss)", "Still got that darned cold sore"

3. Cheek kiss (a kiss on the cheek)
a) Three second rule!
b) Depends on the length. But if it's just a quickie, it doesn't necessarily have to be a life altering moment.
c) This is one of the few kisses, that if discreet, can take place in front of friends. Otherwise...your location is up to you...
d) "You're sweet (girl to boy)", "I'm comfortable with you (boy to girl)", "I like you", "I love you", "Goodbye"

4. Forehead kiss (a kiss on the forehead)
a) Three second rule (It's a good general rule).
b) Low intensity. It's not particularly intimate, but it's sweet. Keep in mind, however, that it's also the kind of kiss a brother might give a little sister.
c) Anywhere. Public, private, unless you're friends are really immature (or you violate that 3 second rule) you should be fine with this just about anywhere.
d) "You're sweet", "We're friends", "I like you", "I love you", "Goodbye"

5. Neck kiss (not to be confused with necking)
a) 2 second rule. Why the shortened time? Because a kiss on the neck is more inmate than almost any other kiss on this list. Stretch it much longer and one risks sending the wrong message.
b) Very. Intense. It's not the kind of kiss you should share until you've been dating exclusively for at least five or six months.
c) Definitely in private. Or...you know... "public". But if you're going to be conspicuous about it, by all means, spare the public as well. And if you receive this kiss (or any of the subsequent kisses on the list) in the back seat of his car, consider immediately seeking out alternate transportation. (IOW: Exit. NOW.)
d) It depends, is he in front of you, behind you, or next to you? If he's in front of you the message is definitely "I want you", which isn't altogether bad if the setting is innocent. If he's behind or beside you, you can assume it's at least partially a location of convenience, in which case the messages could include "I want you", as well as "I love you", "I really, really like you", "You're special to me", and "I'm glad you're mine"

6. Common kiss (the traditional lip-to-lip...and here's where it gets deep...)
A) The brush
a) By definition this kiss lasts less than a second.
b) Unless it's your first kiss this is pretty low-tense for the lip-to-lip variety snog.
c) This is one of those kisses that is fine in both "public" and private, but should probably not be done in front of friends (unless you're like, engaged or something--in which case, why are you reading this??)
d) "I like you", "I love you", "Goodbye"

B) The peck
a) Again, by definition, this kiss lasts less than a second.
b) Unless this is your first kiss, this is a pretty low-grade kind of kiss. Sweet, but not too intense.
c) This kiss is appropriate in public or private, but should be avoided in front of friends.
d) Most commonly: "Goodbye", but also used generally for "I love you"

C) The half-french (no tongue)
a) 2 second rule--otherwise the chance of this becoming a real French kiss is verrrrry high.
b) Very intense. The most intense of the non-French kisses.
c) Private. Always. Because of its intensity this is one of those kisses the public should be graciously spared.
d) "I want you!!!" ..."Oh yeah, and I kinda love ya too..."

D) The smacker
a) 2 second rule helps exclude most of the grossness factor.
b) Intense. Sort of a "smack in the middle" kind of kiss as far as intensity goes.
c) Quick enough to pass in public, but generally should be kept in private.
d) "I love you", "Goodbye"

7. French kiss ('nuff said)
a) "How much time do we have?"
b) On a scale of 1-10 it is my personal opinion that this ranks at about a conservative 33.5.
c) Keep it behind closed doors, please! We don't care what you do, or where you do it as long as it's not in front of us!
d) "I l--... I llllo-- aw shucks, who am I kidding? I want you, dang it!"

8. Breather (breathing or talking against one's cheek or lips)*
a) Time depends on the message... discretion is the key here.
b) Medium intensity. He could be trying to be romantic, it could be impulse, or he could be trying to tell you your jeans split.
c) Again, how discreet can you be? Just have some class and keep an eye on who's around.
d) Depends on what he says:) But the unspoken messages can consist of "I love you", "I adore you", "I'm trying to be quiet..."

9. Eskimo kiss (rubbing noses)*
a) Who knows, I think that except for the butterfly kiss this is one of the most awkward kisses there is (to watch). How long you do it depends on how soon it takes for someone to sneeze, but after about ten seconds you're really starting to enter uncharted territory...
b) Intensity: High.
c) Who cares, just don't do it in front of me. Eskimo "kissing" in a high traffic area is definitely not a favor to the public.
d) "I love you", "My face is cold", "I'm getting in touch with my inner Inuit"

10. Butterfly kiss (fluttering eyelashes on one's cheek)*
a) I don't know, where's your contact now?
b) Unless you're eight and your dad is tucking you into bed there is no reason for this to happen. In the context of a relationship, I frankly think this bypasses the intensity meter altogether and crosses straight over to weird.
c) I don't know, why are you even batting your eyes in the first place?
d) "I'm flirting", "I'm a really bad winker", "I'm in seizure and my eye won't stop twitching!"

So, now that I've completed my professional analysis... what do you think? Do you have any opinions about these types of kisses? Feel free to comment, agree, disagree, or add anything you think I've missed. Have fun :)

Boundaries

Note: This blog was originally published on my issues blog, but I moved it here because I thought it made more sense to put it here. It was actually written in early January, but I moved it to this blank post draft in November. Enjoy.

Unlike most people, when I told my pastor/parents/friends that I was dating none of them did me the courtesy of whipping out an instruction manual as a heart warming gift. So I had to figure out lots of little things on my own like: when to hold hands, how affectionate to be in public, how affectionate to be in private, what to say to his mother, etc.

I think boundaries are one of those things that are really difficult to know how to handle when you're just starting out. I mean, there are some basic things that you hopefully come out the gate just knowing. If you grew up in the Christian ghetto most of my readers are "privileged" to inhabit (interpret quotes as you will) then you were told not to have sex till you got married. But beyond the extreme this instruction does little to inform teenagers what they should do.

The teen Pathfinder retreat, of course, makes it very clear. In fact, they explicitly ban any and all "extramarital heterosexual interdigitalis" (which sounds more like a disease/orgy instead of a tender display of affection), but this is hardly a guide of conduct for an entire relationship. But I haven't despaired yet. I have heard many guides for how Christian boyfriends and girlfriends should treat each other. They are as follows:

1. From a Week of Prayer speaker: Treat them as you would your brother/sister. After all, this person is first and foremost your brother or sister in Christ. Since you have no long term commitment with them before God or man (i.e. marriage--the message being sent here that dating relationships, especially in high school, ultimately mean little), they cannot be anything to you (physically) other than a brother.
2. From a Christian Relationship Manual: Act only as you would feel comfortable acting if their spouse (or future spouse) was in the room. Whatever the two of you do, you will eventually have to face the consequences and memories of. You will either face these consequences with each other, or you will have to face the memories in your separate marriages. Thus, by acting only as you would if your future spouses were in the room, you are showing respect for yourselves, and for the person who will have to face your actions later (e.g. your boyfriend's wife).
3. From a Christian Dating Manual: Do only what you want the girl/boy who is currently dating your future spouse to do (i.e. do it (the "it being undefined) only if you're okay with your future spouse doing it to/with someone else tonight). This is only slightly different from the second suggestion, but it's a little more personal (and potentially much more graphic). This idea mentally puts in perspective everything you do. It means that any and every time you kiss, hug, snuggle, cuddle, dance with, make-out with, or sleep with your boyfriend you have to imagine that somewhere, the guy you're going to marry, the guy you plan on loving for the rest of your life, is doing the same thing with the small redhead he's dating now. Jealous? That's the idea.
4. Random (I don't know where I heard this): Picture your/your S.O.'s parents constantly in the room whenever you are with them (your significant other). Whatever you do, wherever you do it, there are constantly two (or maybe even four) pairs of parental eyes watching you in rapt attention. How do you feel now?
5. Random: Picture Jesus in the room whenever you are with your significant other. After all he already is. How does he feel about what you're doing? Does it make him happy? Sad? Embarrassed?
6. A warning received from some unknown magazine: Every concession you make in the area of physical affection steadily loses the respect of the boy you're dating (i.e. you let him hold your hand/kiss you/etc. and his respect level for you instantly drops according to the intensity of the action, and how soon you let it happen). This creates a delicate balance for the girl to maintain, because while she cannot completely withhold her affection, she also needs to make sure that he's working hard for every concession she does make. The result is something of a game, during which the girl strings the guy along as long as possible, giving in just enough to keep him hooked, but holding back enough to keep him wanting more. Her ultimate goal is to eventually sucker him into marriage (when there is nothing left to give him within the boundaries of their current relationship), and his goal is to get as much as he can out of her, thus thwarting her goal.

• The idea behind this last theory is that the behavior of both the girl and the boy may not be intentional, but is a natural outgrowth of their natures. He wants sex (or whatever he can get), and she wants security (marriage).

As I contemplated these various ideas I decided I needed some outside thoughts--particularly from guys. So I asked two of my guy friends what they thought of idea #6. Both of them said that this theory was oversimplified. But they also conceded that it is based primarily on truth.
As you can probably see, reading Christian magazines, books, and listening to pastors and speakers has only further confused the issue for me. So in my own dating relationship, my boyfriend and I have adapted pieces of these ideas to create boundaries we're comfortable with. We talk about everything, and I think we're doing just fine, but I still wonder about these ideas, and the levels of truth that may or may not be in them.
What do you think? Are these ideas right? Wrong? Totally absurd? Blatantly offensive? Are any of these concepts that should be more readily adopted by youth today? Or are they unrealistic for the times we live in? Comment liberally and let me know :).

Image

It's a funny thing, image. It can take years to establish, and a lifetime to maintain. And every day we run the risk of slipping up. Oh yes, sometimes we can go for long stretches of time where everyone thinks exactly what we want them to think of us. But sometimes the mask just cracks. Maybe it was the evening out we spent trying to look mature in front of older friends. Instead we came off looking like we were trying too hard (in hindsight, maybe the clothes were a little over-the-top . . .). Or maybe we were griping with our friends about stupid quizzes while our favorite teacher was standing right behind us. Perhaps the boyfriend we wanted to think we were sophisticated saw us in the beginning stages of late-night loopiness (it looks really flirtatious in a not-so-cute kind of way when you're just starting to 'lose it' at that magical hour . . .). Or our mom let it slip to a friend how old we really were when we last slept with "Snuggles".

These moments don't hurt exactly. They don't sting, or stab, or twist our stomachs. They just sort of make us cringe. It's the kind of cringe that makes you wish you could come with a magical eraser and make that distasteful moment in time disappear from the universe. In an instant, an image we have worked hard to cultivate can be shattered, or at least damaged. It seems like such a tragedy in the moment, though when given time to think about it we usually realize just how petty the whole incident was.

The problem with images is that usually they only incorporate the nobler parts of who we are. But no one is perfect, and it's impossible to keep our foibles under wraps all the time. So when we mess up, we always end up showing characteristics that make us appear a little worse than we did a moment ago. The standard lesson learned from this is that we need to be more careful, more polished, wear a thicker mask, and thus further guard ourselves from the potential criticisms of our humanity.

The result can often be effective, but it comes at a high price: Authenticity. While the pay off is that one has given the world a steady target, a polished mask for them to love or hate without wounding the person behind it; this also means that when this same one attempts to have an intimate relationship with another (perhaps mask wearing) person, the pealing gazes, the beams of interest and emotion shining from both pairs of eyes will only get as far as the subject will allow. When one wears a mask, they run the risk of disenfranchising the very people they wish to understand them the most. Instead their understanding hits against the mask erected, bouncing off its surface and refracting away as if it were mirror.

So we have a basic dilemma. Do we be authentic and run the risk of having that authenticity genuinely hated? Or do we be inauthentic and run the risk of disenfranchising those we need to love us? Usually, it's one or the other. It's either a habit of hiding, or a policy of integrity. Yes, I have just revealed my bias. Because masking is hiding. And it's a hiding that hurts.

Think of it this way, if you were to place a physical piece of plastic over your face your skin would start to feel warm, within a few minutes it would become wet and sweaty. Deprived of oxygen your body would start to freak out, and if you remained under these circumstances long enough your skin would literally begin to die and rot under the mask... I think this happens when we put masks over our souls as well. Eventually, if we never allow them to come up for air, they die, or at the very least become very unrecognizable. Later, if we ever do decide we want to remove our mask and experience true intimacy with another human being, it is a very confusing, difficult, and sometimes painful process.

I think it's worth it to be authentic. That doesn't mean we have to thoughtlessly bear our soul to the capricious world, but it does mean we allow our opinions, personality, and character to be what they are regardless of circumstance, or who's watching. They create an image that can never be destroyed. It's a question of health really. It's not good to hide forever. Eventually, we all have to come up for air.

Love

The following is an edited response to a friend's MySpace Blog:

I don't know what love is either, but I have my theories. I think love is a verb. It's an action. When you do what is best for someone else you are loving them, even if you aren't "in love" with them. And the feelings--all the gooey, warm, fluttery feelings that one get's with their special someone--complete the picture. Add to that total acceptance of a person and their foibles and that's when "loving" meets being "in love". It all goes together. But if you have the first part (doing what's best for someone else) than the feelings can come and go without too much damage. Because feelings do that. One week you're totally head over heals, the next you don't even know if you can trust them, and you're questioning if you should even be together.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about what relationships are about and what love is. It's such a sticky topic. It's difficult, scary, and full of potential landmines. Part of the problem is that people throw the word 'love' around like it's a football. I can love food, basketball, my parents, pizza, books, politics, wing backed chairs, and you all at the same time. It's crazy. And I never really felt like I had to invest a lot of time into the idea until I started dating.

Now I'm going to say right now that no declarations of undying love or affection for my significant other will happen here. It's neither the appropriate place or audience and not to mention... uh, personal? But I have been trying to dissect the issue and I have a few questions:

1. Is it possible for to be "in love" at any age?
2. Is it possible to truly love at any age?
3. What should you do if you've already fallen in love?
   
4. Is there a difference between 'loving' and being 'in love' and if so, what?
5. What does love mean? What is the end result?
6. Does love (between a guy and girl) always mean they should (ideally--baring other factors such as money, proximity, etc.) get married?
7. Why do two people seem to love each other one year, and not the next?
   
8. If two people stop loving each other, were they ever in love to begin with?
9. What do you do when you love someone who doesn't love you back?
10. What if you think someone loves you and you don't feel the same way?

All this stuff rather confuses me. The soul purpose for posting this is to invite comments on my definition, and answers or comments on my questions. What do you think?

Open Mouth, Insert Foot: A Story

It was the last day before the end of summer vacation. Jayme and her friends, Beetle, Daren, Phe, and Nolan were hanging out in the park. They were sitting at a picnic bench, contemplating science and the many chinks in the armor of capitalism when out of nowhere, someone spotted a Venus lookalike! Venus was Beetle's ex-girlfriend, and even though it had been some time, things were still pretty tense between them.

"She's still mad at me." Beetle said.
"Are you still mad at her?" Jayme asked.
"I'm not mad." Beetle replied.
"But have you forgiven her?" asked Jayme.
"How can I forgive her if she won't talk to me?" Beetle shrugged, running his fingers over the top of his buzz cut.
"You can forgive her in your heart." that was Daren.

And while the conversation was basically positive, the subject was one surrounded by emotional scar tissue. Soon the conversation dropped off, and an awkward silence prevailed only to be broken when an adorable little brown turtle crawled across the picnic table. Beetle loved turtles.

Later that night the group left the park for a Subway run. Looking for a place to eat they all piled into their respective vehicles and headed off to Daren's house. Daren had recently completed a youth tour of the Amazon rain forest and called all his friends to his desktop to look at his slideshow of pictures.

Daren was called away by his family (likely to solve a plumbing emergency), but Beetle happily took the mouse and lead the slideshow without him. While the group laughed over pictures and made jokes about the usual things, snake repellent, and the products of nuclear thought, Jayme gazed at the pictures. Everyone looked to be having so much fun when suddenly . . .

"Hey!" Jayme exclaimed, "From the back that girl looks exactly like Venus!"
Silence.
Shoot.

Anniversaries

Disclaimer: Contrary to popular belief, or the beliefs of any particular reader, the majority of the fashion advice in the previous three blogs was not aimed at any one particular person. I divide my criticisms more evenly than that. :)

So . . . yesterday my significant other and I passed the great milestone of one month. Ooooo... Wondrous isn't it? Not really. But hopefully sometime in the future we'll have a milestone worth celebrating. I was thinking about the concept of anniversaries and honestly it puzzles me. Firstly, in the context of teenage dating relationships it seems rather trivial to to celebrate each month. I mean, magazines come every month, so do full moons, cell phone bills, and announcements that water has been found on Mars. Not much to throw a party over :-| . . .

But an anniversary should be something special right? So why celebrate it with such frequency that it loses it's significance and you are lulled into the belief that you and your "other" are a lot more steadfast than you actually are ("We've been together for three whole months!! *insert sappy smile*" Puh-lease. So were *insert name of celebrity couple here*). I also don't think anniversaries count if you had to date on and off to get there. I find it rather ridiculous when I here about couples who gush about how they've been together for six months, when every other weekend of those months they were broken up. Try dating consistently for a while and then you can start counting (or maybe you should be asking yourself why you're braking up so frequently in the first place).

I do believe, however, that the first month could be a very legitimately special event for some couples. It's like you've upped the denominations. Instead of talking about days or weeks you can talk months. And what girl doesn't like keeping track of how long she's been attached to her latest beau? In my personal opinion (not that I have any great experience or basis for this at all), I think six month anniversaries are real and appropriate milestones, and worth the energy of celebration for any unmarried couple (Like on that sitcom, "Yep! We're headed up to the big ol' five point five (5.5)!").

But if you don't think your relationship can last six months (or even three or four), why are you even bothering to count? In fact, why are you dating? Either date casually and get to know different people, or get serious and stick with one person through thick and thin until you've reached the duration of the relationship. But ladies, don't you think the whole two week (or two month) boyfriend is something you should've left behind by now (try ninth grade...at latest)? Later saying "We made it for a whole two and a half months!" is going to sound really silly, and not much like anything worth bragging about.

In closing: *a-hem* . . . I'd be lying if I said I wasn't even a little bit giddy about the fact that my boyfriend and I have been together a whole month. Insignificant as it may be. It always feels like a much bigger deal when it's you :).

A More Urgent Note on Fashion: Gentlemen

Everyday I see the same mistakes being made by otherwise kind and dignified young men. Like it not guys, your general appearance can make the difference between "Sure!" and "I'm going with friends." Even if you already have a significant other, you can be sure she'll appreciate any effort you make to dress better. Don't care about 'significant others'? Well what about respect? Dressing respectably can go a long way towards procuring the respect you deserve. So here are a few rules to be followed. Note that I said "rules", and not "tips". If you're not already doing these things, start now.

1. Wear a belt. In the first blog of this fashion mini-series I noted the importance of wearing a belt whenever your shirt is tucked in. But I'm going to expand that to anytime you are wearing pants (even if your shirt covers it). Because guys pants are so often cut to be somewhat baggy, what fit this morning may expand by the afternoon. And if it was already falling off your hips you're setting up innocent bystanders to view one crescent moon they never wanted to see. That aside, the top half of your boxers is only a slightly less nauseating alternative. Some girls find boxer waistbands sexy. But when they say "waistband", they really do mean the waistband. We're not interested in a wide shot of your flaming chili peppers, miniature hearts, race cars, or the pair with the holly berries you got for Christmas.
2. Don't Wear Clothes with Holes or Stains. Unfortunately some guys still need to be told that holes and stains aren't classy. I don't care if you just came from working in the yard or how chill your mother is. If you're leaving the boundaries of your own property (or stepping outside the house for that matter), change your clothes.
3. Wear Clean Clothes. And by clean we do not mean it was at the top of your hamper. If you've worn it more than twice, it's time to wash it. B.O. and dirty laundry aren't attractive. So grow up. And don't use the excuse of "there was nothing else clean". Circulate your loads like the rest of adult society. Your mom and sister have been doing it for years.
4. Take a shower. I'm not even sure why I should have to write this. I just know there are some guys who either don't have the will or common sense to heed this rule. But you stink. So jump in the shower and clean up. And when you get out, use some hygiene sense and put on deodorant--for everyone's sake.
   
5. Make sure your pants settle on the tops of your shoes. This is a personal pet peeve of mine. Call me superficial, but few things strike me as more un-classy than high water pants.
6. Own a suit. You're a big boy now, so dress like it. Having a suit of your own ensures it fits, and gives you something to wear on formal dates, to weddings, at church, banquets and proms, and some kinds of job interviews. Not to mention you can split up the pants and jacket and wear as needed.
   
7. Own at least one pair of dress shoes. Sure they might be uncomfortable, but that suit won't look very good with your grubby tennis shoes. And the 'suits-with-kicks' look only works in some settings. Even if you only wear them once a year, buy them anyway. Think of it as a doorway to manhood. Aren't guys always saying "no pain, no gain"?
8. Know How to Tie a Tie. You tie your own shoes don't you?
   
9. Wear Clothing Your Size. Wearing clothing that's sized too big makes you look suspicious, and wearing clothing that's too small looks like you think you're all that and a bag o' chips. Even the most muscled guys shouldn't overdo it. If you look like your trying to show off, the point is null.
   
10. Don't wear a lot of prints. I don't have any great fashion science behind this rule. I've just noticed that on a whole, guys who experiment further than the traditional bi-color stripe, solid, and monotone plaid just don't look quite... well they lose points. So just avoid it.
    

Six Things that Will Make You Instantly More Attractive:

1. Keep your hair cut. If you're growing it out, than do so, but keep a hat around, or work out some alternate hair style until your hair grows out past that awkward mid-length.
   
2. Shave. Facial hair may be manly, but if you can't grow a full beard (and maybe even if you can), your clean shaven face will be a lot more attractive than the whole stubble, peach fuzz, hair-in-every-direction look.
   
3. Wear unwrinkled clothes. Even if it's fresh out of the wash, if it's wrinkled, you'll look unkempt.
   
4. Take care of your face. Everyone has acne. But it won't get better by ignoring it. Unless you have really severe acne, pimples can be diminished for the most part by simply washing your face twice a day (perhaps with a skincare scrub or foam), keeping your pillow case fresh (pillow cases should probably be changed every ten days, or one to two weeks), and your hair as greaseless as possible.
   
5. Stand up straight. Slouchers aren't attractive. They look small, timid, and weak. The more confident you look, the more attractive you'll be to the opposite gender, and the more respect you'll garner with your peers and employers.
   
6. Work out. A little time in the gym never hurt any--oh wait, it did. But overall it's still probably worth it. There are some things that are genetic and will never change, but a balanced work out routine (that means one that works on muscles all over, not just your upper body or core), can go a long way towards making you stronger, and thus more attractive.

A More Urgent Note on Fashion: Ladies

WHEEEP! WHEEEP! WHEEEP!
THIS IS A GIRL TALK WARNING. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. MALE READERS BE WARNED.

This is the kind of advice that should absolutely be heeded. Under no circumstances should this advice be ignored. Too often people walk around looking foolish because they don't use simple fashion sense. Well, someone has to rescue the masses. Might as well be me . . . I apologize in advance to all the soon to be former male readers of this blog.

Ladies first:

1. Avoid panty lines! This can be achieved either by . . . oh, I don't know, not wearing skin tight pants and skirts. Seeing as the only people that kind of clothing will attract are those who are more interested in you out of your clothes than in them. But if you absolutely have to vacuum pack your legs into a pair of cotton-spandex skinny jeans, by all means, WEAR A THONG.
   
2. Keep it under wraps! Ladies, visible underwear isn't hot. I don't care if it's a new thong or a matching set that compliments your outfit. It isn't sexy, it's sleazy, so lose it. Not the underwear--the view. I learned this the hard way. I bought a belt. Belts make great accessories, so invest in one already.
   
3. Keep them in check. Boobs can be great assets. What girl doesn't want a few curves? But what makes clothing attractive, isn't what it reveals, but what it hides. Your boobs should be one of those things. While there is a time and place for a little cleavage, that time and place is not in your everyday life. So keep 'em covered. You don't have to wear a nun's habit, and wide scooping necklines as well as V-necks can be a flattering fashion move for the heavily endowed. But that isn't clearance to share the view. If you think a dress or top might dip a little too low, minimize exposure with a tank top that offers support. Make sure it's pulled up as high as it needs to be, and that it will stay there. Or, if you want to take a more sultry route, invest in some lace you can clip across the top of your bra.
   
4. Avoid butt cleavage! Need I say more? It's called a belt people!
5. One at a Time. It's fun to flaunt what you got (within reason), but flaunt it all at once and you'll look more like a street walker than a an elegant princess. If you want to show off a little cleavage (I advise settling for cleavage shadow, instead of actual exposure. It's just as sexy and a lot more classy.) than do so, but make sure your legs are covered (and by that I don't mean vacuum packed into a pair of skinny jeans). If you have great legs, wear a shorter skirt, but make sure your top half is completely covered. Other alluring assets include a smooth back, or exposed shoulder. Just remember, to walk the fine line between sexy and sleazy, always display assets one at a time.
   
6. Wear a Bra! Honestly, it should not be necessary to remind any girl of this past the sixth grade. But all to often girls are willing to parade around in public in otherwise modest clothing without a bra. It's not cute girls. You need the coverage. You need the support. Grow. Up.
   
7. Keep it classy. There's classy and there's crude. Even if you have the legs of a goddess there is such a thing as too short. If we can see butt cheeks, you have reached (and surpassed) that magical length. Time to let out the hem. Or...I don't know, trying buying something that covers your rear?
   
8. No hooker heals. If it's already three inches from the toe pad up, it doesn't need a platform , especially if it's open toed or a lace up boot (you might be able to get away with this if your platform is 3/4inches or lower). Really now... Oh yeah, and if you buy them, make sure you can walk in them. Weebles are the only things made to wobble. So try not to resemble one when you're debuting your new shoes.
   
9. Skirts need delicate shoes. Even if it's just a flip flop. The whole sneaker with skirt thing is tough to navigate, and should be completely avoided if you aren't prepared for the fashion risk. Also (in my personal opinion), unless it's a sarong on the beach, skirts longer than the knee should be accompanied by shoes with at least a half inch of height.
   
10. Dress for your body type. There is little excuse for not heeding this piece of advice. There are thousands of guide books out there (I am personally a fan of Susanna and Trinny's "What Not to Wear"), and if all else fails you can always count on your one truly honest girl friend to give you the thumbs down when you need it. But if you are totally clueless, here are some basic guidelines:
    

• 1) If you have a lot of bust wear open necklines. Expose as much skin as possible between your chin and chest while still being modest. Avoid double breasted jackets. Or jackets with much fuss at all.
  
• 2) If you're flat or small chested the reverse applies. High necklines are what you need. But feel free to wear any jacket or shirt, no matter how embellished or fussy. You'll look great, and sweaters are your friend.
  
• 3) If you have wide hips or thunder thighs balance them out with flair leg or boot-cut pants. Become friends with the A-line skirt.
  
• 4) If you have a long waist or short legs wear pants that go all the way to the ground and cover most of your shoe. Then break up your torso with layers.
  
• 5) If you weren't blessed with a waist, manufacture it with waisted or cinched in tops and jackets. Look for things that embellish or add size in the shoulder/bust or hip areas. Like a square shouldered, wide labeled long jacket, because the waist will be diminish by the hourglass shape of the coat.
  
• 6) Large rears are a blessing if they're high and round, so show it off in pants that fit. But remember to always go low waisted (at least with pants). Bands of fabric above the rear will trick the eye into thinking it's a lot longer than it really is. Pencil skirts are great inventions.
  
• 7) Hefty arms need sleeves of 3/4 or full length. Cap sleeves and spaghetti straps are an absolute no-no.
  
• 8) Broad shoulders (unaccompanied by equally broad hips) need wide skirts and flared pants. It balances the equation. Also avoid sling shoulders or overly fussy sleeves.
  
• 9) Short necks need delicate necklaces that at least hit the collarbone. Chandelier earrings are your friend.
  

Never wear . . .

1. unisex polo shirts
2. unfitted jeans/un-fitting pants
   
3. clothing with holes or stains
4. see through anything
5. boots with mini-skirts
6. tops or pants with cutaways (peepholes belong in shoes)
   
7. poor colors for you skin tone (use your friends or a color guide to help you figure out what colors are best for you. If you're Black you can wear nearly anything)

A Note on Fashion

This is the kind of advice that probably shouldn't be spoken, because it isn't important enough to mention. It's the kind of advice that if people get a hold of, will save them appearance.

First, for the girls:

1. ALWAYS CHECK YOURSELF ON YOUR WAY OUT THE DOOR. This will save you lots of fashion grief. Whether it be from panty lines, an out of place lock of hair, or mascara streaks on your face, you'll only catch it if you do a full 360 in a full length mirror.
   
2. Always check your hair before you walk out the door. If you do your hair directly after coming out of the shower, then you put on your clothes, apply makeup and leave for school/work, you are in danger of walking out the door with tee shirt head. It's not major. And unlike bed-head you're unlikely to draw very many strange looks. Just as long as you don't take any pictures . . .
   
3. Never wear red clothes and pink lip stick. It just clashes. Now a pink gloss is likely to be so neutral it won't really clash at all. What I'm talking about is pink, opaque, lip color with candy apple red clothing. It's gross. Don't do it.
   
4. On a broader note, make sure all your makeup matches your clothes. The best way to do that is to go neutral, but if you have to have color, make sure you're wearing your clothes for the day before you apply your makeup. Stay away from color mines and hard to pull off combinations, like orange eye shadow and green clothing, or tones that are too close like blue and purple. Unless you think you're just the fashionista to pull it all together.
5. Don't wear socks that come too high above your shoes. You probably won't lose friends over this, but it's a big enough deal to make any fashion conscience person cringe. Some people don't like the feeling of their shoes chafing their ankles. That's fine. Ultra-low and no-show socks aren't for everyone (though they are for most). But if you have to wear an outfit (dress, shirt, shorts...) that shows off your ankles, ditch the folded over tubes, and mid-length socks. Ankle socks are tolerable. Knee socks are also a good alternative, but never with shorts, and make sure the skirt they're worn with has volume and length or it may look out of place or sleazy.
   

And for the boys:

1. Cut your hair! Okay, so maybe this one is worth mentioning. It's one of the larger of the minor offenses. Too often when guys get their hair cut short either for summer or for their sports season, they don't keep it up. They let it get shaggy when the season is over and soon it starts looking long and unkempt. Now some guys can pull off the shaggy look. Most should simply cut their hair or find some interim way of keeping it (hats are always good) until it grows out past the ever gag-worthy mullet length.
   
2. Shave your face! Unless you can grow a full beard (and perhaps even if you can), you should spare the world your werewolf mornings and keep your face clean shaven. You aren't a mountain man, and the whole messy, prickly, peach fuzz look isn't attractive. If you must grow facial hair, keep a well trimmed goatee. Soul patches are controversial... And hey, most girls prefer clean faces on younger guys anyway.
   
3. Don't wear socks that come too high above your shoes. Yep, this piece of advice is even more crucial for you than for the girls. Ultra-low and no-show socks aren't for everyone (though they are for most). But again, if you have to wear shorts, at least wear ankle socks, ditch the tubes, and mid-lengths, and make sure they're the right color for goodness sake. Also, knee socks and shorts are a hard look to pull off. Do yourself a favor and save them for the sports arena.
   
4. Once you've committed to a hat, don't take it off. At least, not in front of people. Wait till you can hit the bathroom with a comb. That way you can make smooth transition. Your close friends and family will take you as you are, but the general public isn't so kind, so spare yourself (and everyone else) the hat-head, and just leave it on.
   
5. If you decide to tuck in your shirt, wear a belt. Nice try, but the display of bare belt-loops is enough to squelch any dignity your were trying to achieve by tucking in the tails. So make up your mind, in or out? (And don't waste time trying to negotiate the whole half-tuck/quarter-tuck thing.) But if you decide to go business, please wear a belt.
   
6. Don't wear socks with sandals. It just doesn't work. If you need your foot covered, cover it with a shoe. The purpose of the sock is to be a barrier between your foot and shoe, not to be some kind of woolly accessory to your Birkenstocks.

In conclusion, everything said above is simple. It doesn't take a genius, or a large budget to look that much nicer. Not to mention most of the things on this list are semi-pet peeves of mine ;).
So start now.

A Lesson From High School

High School: the second information superhighway.

If there's one thing I've learned from high school it's that news travels. Even if you only tell your trusted friends, even if you never actually tell anyone at all. Somehow, whatever it is that you are trying to keep under wraps, for whatever purpose, will get out, and sooner than you think. You see, I've had some news recently. Good news, but not the kind of news that I really wanted my entire high school in on. Sometimes people just want to get used to situations before the entire world decides it's their prerogative to weigh in. But there's already been a leak in the system, which is why I'm even talking about it at all. But I'm not going to drop the bomb until the whole can of beans is completely spilled. As it is, this post is probably hint enough, but I digress...

See, there are certain friends I just have to tell when things happen in my life. All of them can be counted on to be the paragon of discretion, so I must admit to no small amount of confusion that my news has leaked. They are the only ones who know (that and my pastor, but who's he going to tell??). Or rather knew. I soon realized my bubble of privacy was popped when I received a MySpace message from a most unlikely friend. He was inquiring about my news, and I promptly confirmed with a question of how he knew.

How?? How is it that as soon as you shove a few hundred teenagers into the same social and academic sphere any new fact concerning any part of the teenagers' lives becomes instant news and spreads like wildfire? How is it that even if you don't tell anyone about anything somehow people manage to ferret out the info? And why are teenagers so obsessed with any piece of juicy info they can get on other teenagers?

That said, my news isn't all over the social network yet. And it's not like I'm hiding anything. I'm just surprised that it has gotten as far as it has.

I Got a Cell Phone!!

So, this isn't really relevant to anything, but I just got my own cell phone!! Aaaugh!!!

It's exciting, because usually my parents are ones to go for the things that most people consider normal for the average teenager. For instance, they aren't rushed to see me get my license (and trust me, I've tried to rush them), even though I'm a senior in high school, and they weren't in a big hurry to extend my curfew as I got older, though I will say that they have been reasonable on this point (11-12:30pm depending on the circumstances). So I was a little surprised when it took very little cajoling to get them to open up to the idea of a cell phone.

See, I have more of a social life than either of my sisters. One of them didn't really get out much on the weekends, and then when she went to boarding academy weekends out weren't really an option anyway. The other sister did most of her hanging out at people's houses. My friends, however, like to do a lot a roaming. We may initially meet at a park, then decide to go out to eat, then eventually crash at someone's house (whoever can take us all at the shortest notice). I was always borrowing my dad's phone so that I could check in with my parents about our plans, change of location, etc. But that was troublesome because that meant I couldn't call my dad. And he was the one with the most reliable phone anyway, which is why I borrowed it. See a problem here?

Well, circumstances changed and my parents saw the opportunity to get me on a family plan. I'm with Sprint now with unlimited texting (hint-hint). It's great. And while I mostly have the minutes to contact my parents, it will make it a lot easier to contact friends as well. And I'm almost completely certain I won't have any problems with burning through my minutes. I have a friend on a plan with fewer minutes per person, and she never goes over.

Anyway, I'm really excited. It's just one more step towards independence. :P

Randomness

Okay so I'm basically going to write about five random things (five being my favorite number, and a good estimate of when I'm going to run out of stuff to say), and you're going to read and comment on all my amazing genius :P. Got it? Okay, let's go.

1. There's something very satisfying about cleaning a house--even if it's not yours. I work for this mother who generally has to work most of the day. Some days she asks me to clean the house. By "clean the house" I mean, sweep and mop both bathroom and kitchen, wash the dishes, wipe down the table, the counter, the stove, put the (now dry) dishes away, clean the shower, wipe down the sink and mirror, scrub the toilet (which is always pretty clean anyway), and vacuum the living room and child's room. Today I had this to accomplish along with feeding her child and changing his diaper. I had four hours. I took about three and a half. But when I was finished, totally finished, I felt so satisfied. I'd gone over the kitchen floor three times and the bathroom floor twice with the Swiffer mop thing, and I'd taken care to vacuum all general spaces well (taking out that little attachment thing to reach certain places) and . . . I don't know. I just felt really good. I think I'm beginning to understand that satisfaction my mom gets when the house is clean and everything is, "up to par" as she puts it.
   
2. Few things make a person feel more loved than having a toddler climb into your lap and fall asleep--even if they're not supposed to sleep and you spend fifteen unsuccessful minutes trying to rouse them and keep them awake.
   
3. Heat breeds foul moods, short tempers, and lethargy--It's 100 degrees outside. 'Nuff said.
   
4. New CDs Rock!--Bad joke, good truth. I just got "Nothing Is Sound" from Hastings a few days ago. It was one of the two CDs I needed to have everything by Switchfoot since their movie debut in "A Walk to Remember". All I need now is "The Beautiful Letdown", and I'm nearly certain I'll have it before the end of the month. Yaaaa!! By the way, if anyone wants to get me something for my birthday (you know it's only five months away ;-) lol :P) I'd be a huge fan of anything pre-"Learning to Breath". You know, the old garage band tinny stuff you have to hunt for in the 'used' section of record stuff.
   
5. Traveling Friends Cause Loneliness--Two of my closest friends (wow, never thought I'd be saying that a year ago) have left to go who knows where in the last few weeks. One is in Alaska (a state I firmly believe God never intended anyone but the Inuit to inhabit), and the other is a leadership camp thing where they're going to "rock climb, glacier walk, and mountaineer". I'm praying for their safety ("glacier walk"??). After all, these are the guys who could shatter their knees dodging imaginary weapons in "Pirates and Ninjas" games. And who attract female stalkers like windshields do flies *cough*Derek*cough* (I promise I'll lay off from now on guys :P). They need all the prayer they can get . . . but seriously, these two friends are some the best whether you want to talk about politics and social activism, or just do something completely random for the buzz of it...or laugh yourself silly for an hour straight :). I'm gonna miss 'em.
   

Doing the Right Thing

You know, when you're little, it's easy to know right from wrong. Even if you don't always do it. You know you're supposed to be kind to the other kids. You know how to share, how to be polite and talk to teachers and adults. It's not to hard to understand that stealing is wrong, or that when Mommy says, "Don't touch that," you are to obey. Say "please" and "thank you", and accept gifts with a smile and life will be okay.

But the older we get the more complex the issues become. Suddenly there are rights, opinions, and principles to consider. Get still older and one must think about the affects on both the short and long term. One has to ask, "Will I regret this in a year? In five years? In a decade?I've been finding out the last couple weeks that the differences between right and wrong aren't always cut and dry. Sometimes it's difficult to know what's right. Or let's forget 'right' altogether, what's best for everyone? How can you know? What does one do when the beliefs they've held for so long suddenly seem to become irrelevant? What does one do when circumstances change? When people change? When feelings change?

I've never been great at decisions. I mean, I've always been pretty solid in my convictions, but ask me what movie I want to see or whether to go pizza or Chinese and I'm as clueless as they come. Unfortunately this trend spreads to other areas of my life. I don't like grey. I may be able to make up my mind about gay marriage, capital punishment, or stem cell research, but in my own personal life, when it comes down the grey areas in my own heart and home, I struggle.

For Christians there is a very wise and concise plan for decision making already laid out (I don't know if this is it, but it's what I've gathered from my personal study). First one must establish their own moral views and feelings on the issue (Romans 14:23 "....whatever is not from faith is sin."). Then they must seek the guidance of God (Blank blank:blank "..."), and the guidance of trusted friends of relations (Proverbs blank:blank "..."). After this is done, one must make their decision and hold to it. But even after this process, success (success being the assurance of having done the 'right' thing) isn't always certain.

I can remember the last time I was deliberate about going through this process. After I had made my decision, even though I felt sick over the consequences to others, I had a peace that I had done the right thing. Unfortunately, doing the right thing can mean hurting others . . . But now I rather quickly find myself in the same position again. I want to do the right thing by everyone. I don't want anyone to get hurt either immediately, or in the long run. I've done lots of praying, asking God what he wants me to do in the situation, and asking Him to help me make the right decision. And right now I'm looking to others, friends, family, and my youth pastor, to help guide me in this area. But even though I know that God will lead me, there is still a nagging worry that I'll do the wrong thing, and either now, or later, someone will get hurt. I miss the days when I could just ask Daddy what to do. I miss the days when all I had to think about was how my parents, teachers, or siblings would feel about the issue. I miss the days when my biggest worries, were whether or not I would get in trouble.

Now that I'm older there is no one to "punish" me if I don't make a decision quite in line with what is right, whatever "right" is. Instead I have only the plain, cold consequences of my actions to answer to. It's actually pretty scary. What's scarrier, is that a part of me thinks that no matter what I do, there will be no total avoidance of pain. Perhaps there is no way to make sure everyone wins all the time. And that's what makes life's tough decisions absolutely heartbreaking.

Talks and Seasons

Talks:
Okay, so has anyone ever had the feeling that someone wanted to say something to them? Like something specific? And have you ever been so apprehensive about what they might say that you...oooh, I don't know, made sure they never got the point? Yeah, I did that today. Yeah...pretty much feel like that was stupid, but I have so much noise and tangled wire and twine in my head that I have to sort out before anyone particularly important says anything particularly important. And who knows? Maybe I was totally off base and being all anxious and apprehensive over nothing. People seem to do that a lot.

I think in general most people would rather just get all the scary/painful/anxious/embarrassing moments in their lives over with as quickly as possible. But everyone wants to be ready for them. No one wants to be caught off guard. Because somehow if you're expecting a hit it doesn't hurt so badly. Or even if you aren't expecting anything bad it always feels better somehow to be prepared. Unfortunately the fruits of this preparation is usually only anxious stalling and pained anticipation. So why do we still do it? Why is it so hard for some people to just 'go with the flow'?

Seasons:
So this isn't relevant to anything in particular, but it just occurred to me that while some people are just better people in the summer. They have less stress, less worry, they're in less of a hurry, and can invest their time more amply in friends, family, and recreation. Some people, on the other hand, are exactly the opposite. They don't enjoy the summer as much because they feel less driven, have less of a purpose, and yet are so tired of the moments when they were busy that during summer they take complete advantage of the break and completely check out of friendships, family, and anything that "feels like work".

It's not a particularly positive revelation, but when I'm managing my time well (and I have more than six hours of sleep) I generally am a better person during the school year (work season, for those of you who have vacated all educational institution and reside permanently in the workforce). I just like having a purpose and a drive. And I feel like during the school year I am better equipped to accomplish my other goals as well. I just like having stuff on my plate. During the summer I can try to put stuff on my plate, but it doesn't always work. After all, I'm on vacation, right? And so is everyone else I would involve in my schemes. Sigh . . .

I wonder if there's a productivity study on work during summer as opposed to the other three seasons?

Decision Made

So this is probably going to go down in history as one of the shortest posts I've ever made (as if history cares :) ). But for those of you who either know what I'm talking about or who are just that sharp, understand what's going on, and why.

My dad was right. Sleep helps. A lot. So let's just put it this way. I'm staying indoors. Well . . . I'm staying indoors as much as I can. And outside? Well my trips outside will be as short as possible. I don't know how much good as it's going to do. But you can't backslide and expect results. So . . . whether or not it totally sucks, which it does, it's just going to have to be this way. No snow. Not for a while. Wish me luck.

The Switch and the Snow Day

Ever wish you could just flip a switch and turn your feelings into what you think they should be? Sometimes feelings are ill-timed. Like a hard rain at harvest, or snow in April. It's magical at Christmas time. When you see those big white flakes in December most people are glad, even joyful at the arrival of winter's thick white blanket. But see those same big flakes in April (at least here in my section of the Northwest), and your heart is filled with dismay. All you can think is, "Why now?" It's precisely the wrong time for that kind of weather.

Sometimes feelings are the same way. Sometimes you like someone. No--you don't just like them. You care about them more than you have ever cared for someone that way before. And all you can think is "Why now?" It's precisely the wrong time for this kind of weather. But what can you do? You can no more stop your feelings than you can stop the flakes of snow from falling from the sky. It's impossible. What you really need is a big cosmic switch that would allow you to close off your heart to all such feelings when the time is inconvenient.

Well maybe there are no cosmic switches. Perhaps you can't clog up the clouds or stop up your heart, but you can stay indoors. You can refuse to allow yourself to go outside and play in the white fluffy snow. After all, the timing is all wrong. You don't have what you need. No winter clothes, no sweaters or hats or gloves... Instead you bar yourself off from the play and sledding and snowman building. After all, it's what's best for you right now. You can go outside and have a good time now in the magical winter wonderland (and pay for it later with pneumonia and bronchitis) or you can stay indoors and enjoy the snow that will invariably fall (or so they say--again, if you live where I do there's no guarantee) next winter--when you're ready.

But while this may be the logical thing to do, you aren't completely settled to go through with this plan. Instead your heart and head come head to head and fight inside you, keeping you from any moments of peace. Your head wants you to stay inside. Your head tells you that this is what is best for you. It says that if you were really as mature and as smart as you wanted everyone to believe you to be, as you want to believe you are, you would go through with your original plan. Not only that, you would execute it with dignity, self-control, and grace.

But your heart--your heart wants you go out and enjoy the snow now. It wants you to skip all the logic and listen to the reasoning of emotion. After all, who is to say you will get sick? Not everyone who goes outside without gloves comes down ill later. Anyway. . . this is a great snow, one of the best you've ever experienced. It seems nearly perfect (then again, you haven't really seen enough snow to be able to judge, have you?). You want to enjoy this snow now. After all, if you wait till next winter the snow that comes might be grainier, or stickier, or not sticky enough, or too thin. Or worse yet, there may be no snow at all next winter, or the next. Who knows when snow will come again?

But despite these anxieties (they come mostly after you've made your decision anyway) you do the responsible thing. You stay indoors. You don't look at the snow (though you think a lot about it) and you try to wait it all out. You hope that eventually you won't want to play in the snow after a while. You hope that by the time you open the door again you either won't want to be in the snow anymore, or the snow will be gone--completely melted away.

But what if you go back outside (for some innocent reason or out of necessity), and the snow is still there? What if you go back outside and not only is the snow still there, but you want to be apart of it more than ever before? Then what? And furthermore, what if you not only don't want to wait for another snow, but you don't even want another snow. What if you want this one and only this one no matter what your head says? It's a conundrum. And a tough one.

Now obviously this is far from a perfect metaphor, and snow represents more than one thing here (keep this in mind). But this was the only way I could think of to talk about what I'm trying to address here. It's 2:52AM right now and all I can think is, "I'm caught in a blizzard."

Classic Girl Moment

So . . . for reasons I do not care to expound upon at this moment in internet universe:

I am currently having a classic girl moment. Or at least I had a classic girl moment. I was having a really difficult day so I holed myself in my room and read a cheesy teen novel. Now my mind is full of so much nonsense that I'm returning the book at first opportunity. But, left with no other option I retreated to the kitchen around 12:30am to console myself with popcorn and Roma (fake coffee--health nut family, what can I say?). Most unfortunately we were out of ice cream, but that's probably for my own good.

You know, there are days when a girl doesn't know how to handle stuff. For me this was...one of those days. And don't worry all you health and wellness people. I am beyond late night ice cream binges. It's food. Not love . . . I just-- keep-- sayin' that . . .

No really, I am totally kidding here :P But late night tea and TV, mundane and pathetic as it may sound, is actually quite relaxing. Sometimes a little self medication is actually beneficial. As long as it doesn't go too far, and you're smart and healthy about the ways in which you get the endorphins running. For instance, tea at 1am, good. Five scoops of ice cream at 1am, probably not so good. A thick novel in the open window, good. Throwing large pieces of furniture from the window . . . without removing the screen--eeeeh, a little iffy. Building large explosions in the cow pasture across the street that shake several houses down the block? . . . just kidding :P

Anyway . . . it's about 1:46am and so far I have said absolutely nothing of significance so I'm going to go to turn off this computer, crawl back upstairs, and go to bed. 'Night world.

Summer

Now I love this season. BUT IT IS HOT!! The air conditioning at my house when ka-put for absolutely no reason and I'm typing here in front of the downstairs computer in an 86-degree stagnant environment with sweat on my neck and my jeans sticking to my legs against the vinyl office chair. It SUCKS. To make matters worse my bedroom is upstairs. You know what they say about heat rising . . .

It's actually a lot cooler now outside but it's going to take awhile before the house cools down enough for activities such as eating, sleeping, or moving in general. Already I can feel a halo of heat around my hands just from typing on the computer (I type at about 60-75wpm on average). Anyway...

So for the sake of my own sanity I decided to make a list of the top ten cool tings that keep me from feeling like I'm living in an oven. And they are . . .

1. Ice--as in ice cream, ice tea, ice lemonade . . .
   
2. Ice cream (I mixed French Vanilla ice cream with a half cup of cold roma today...it was ah-mazing)
3. Ice Tea--(anyone getting deja voux?) (anyone know how to spell deja voux?) Back up the sugar and up the tang.
4. Lemonade--"Only twenty-five cents a glass!"
5. Popsicles--what could be more attractive than blue lips?
6. Water . . . need I say more?
7. Swimming pools--these watery boxes actually aren't really my friends, but if there's a shallow end I can be persuaded to risk my life . . . again . . .
   
8. Lakes--A lake can be refreshing even in August. I can't think of many things better than hiking around, or rowing in a cool mountain lake.
   
9. Rain--Nothing more refreshing than standing out on the porch during the storm and letting the rain soak you straight through. It may mean laudery later but...it's totally worth it.
10. AND FINALLY FOR THE GRAND FINALLY! DA-DA-DA DAT! DA-DAH!! Sprinklers--It's a lot of fun to run back forth barefoot through the sprinklers like a little kid. It's even better if there's more than one. Suddenly it becomes a game as you alternately doge and face the spray.

This Blog

Hey guys. If you're reading this it's probably because you've seen my other blog "Through the Prism". When I originally started blogging I wanted to talk about "The Issues". But as time wore on my entries became increasingly about what was going on in my head instead of the serious community and world impacting blogs I'd hoped to write. So I split my blog in two. This is "Valley Girl Chat" (I live in a valley, it's a dumb joke, I know :P). What you'll find here is pretty much whatever I feel like talking about. But since there are lots of blogs at "Through the Prism" (http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com) that relate more the purpose of this blog (or that could fit in either place), I am including a list of links from my old blog (from newest to oldest) that you might want to check out. In the meantime, read and enjoy!

1. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/05/make-up.html
2. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/04/phone-calls.html
3. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/04/enough.html
4. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/04/friendship.html
5. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/03/withering-looks.html
6. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/03/insecurity.html
7. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/03/weird-dream.html
8. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/02/questions-part-2.html
9. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/02/questions-part-1.html
10. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/01/filters-and-masks.html
11. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/01/happy-new-year.html
    
12. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/relationship-roundabouts.html
13. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/christmas-day-yaa.html
14. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/christmas-present-connundrums.html
15. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/how-my-mind-works.html
16. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-29-holidays.html
17. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-27-relationships-ii.html
18. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-25-relationships.html
19. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-24-movement.html
20. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-23-confidence.html
21. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-22-stupidity.html
22. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-21-first-day-of-school.html
23. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-19-graceful.html
24. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-18-aaaaaaaugh.html
25. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-3-commitmentfrustrated-ravings.html
26. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-6-random-thoughts.html
27. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-7-my-life.html
28. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-8-acro-knights-home-show.html
29. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-11-random-social-thoughts.html
30. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-12-impracticality-of-fitting-in.html
31. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-15-basketball-withdrawal.html
32. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-16-sappy-thoughts.html
33. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-17-thinking-inside-box.html
    
34. http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-1.html

Those of you wanting to read more on "The Issues", feel free to return to "Through the Prism" at http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com and enjoy the other (approximate) 35 blogs written just for you. :) Read and enjoy!