So this is probably going to go down in history as one of the shortest posts I've ever made (as if history cares :) ). But for those of you who either know what I'm talking about or who are just that sharp, understand what's going on, and why.
My dad was right. Sleep helps. A lot. So let's just put it this way. I'm staying indoors. Well . . . I'm staying indoors as much as I can. And outside? Well my trips outside will be as short as possible. I don't know how much good as it's going to do. But you can't backslide and expect results. So . . . whether or not it totally sucks, which it does, it's just going to have to be this way. No snow. Not for a while. Wish me luck.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
The Switch and the Snow Day
Ever wish you could just flip a switch and turn your feelings into what you think they should be? Sometimes feelings are ill-timed. Like a hard rain at harvest, or snow in April. It's magical at Christmas time. When you see those big white flakes in December most people are glad, even joyful at the arrival of winter's thick white blanket. But see those same big flakes in April (at least here in my section of the Northwest), and your heart is filled with dismay. All you can think is, "Why now?" It's precisely the wrong time for that kind of weather.
Sometimes feelings are the same way. Sometimes you like someone. No--you don't just like them. You care about them more than you have ever cared for someone that way before. And all you can think is "Why now?" It's precisely the wrong time for this kind of weather. But what can you do? You can no more stop your feelings than you can stop the flakes of snow from falling from the sky. It's impossible. What you really need is a big cosmic switch that would allow you to close off your heart to all such feelings when the time is inconvenient.
Well maybe there are no cosmic switches. Perhaps you can't clog up the clouds or stop up your heart, but you can stay indoors. You can refuse to allow yourself to go outside and play in the white fluffy snow. After all, the timing is all wrong. You don't have what you need. No winter clothes, no sweaters or hats or gloves... Instead you bar yourself off from the play and sledding and snowman building. After all, it's what's best for you right now. You can go outside and have a good time now in the magical winter wonderland (and pay for it later with pneumonia and bronchitis) or you can stay indoors and enjoy the snow that will invariably fall (or so they say--again, if you live where I do there's no guarantee) next winter--when you're ready.
But while this may be the logical thing to do, you aren't completely settled to go through with this plan. Instead your heart and head come head to head and fight inside you, keeping you from any moments of peace. Your head wants you to stay inside. Your head tells you that this is what is best for you. It says that if you were really as mature and as smart as you wanted everyone to believe you to be, as you want to believe you are, you would go through with your original plan. Not only that, you would execute it with dignity, self-control, and grace.
But your heart--your heart wants you go out and enjoy the snow now. It wants you to skip all the logic and listen to the reasoning of emotion. After all, who is to say you will get sick? Not everyone who goes outside without gloves comes down ill later. Anyway. . . this is a great snow, one of the best you've ever experienced. It seems nearly perfect (then again, you haven't really seen enough snow to be able to judge, have you?). You want to enjoy this snow now. After all, if you wait till next winter the snow that comes might be grainier, or stickier, or not sticky enough, or too thin. Or worse yet, there may be no snow at all next winter, or the next. Who knows when snow will come again?
But despite these anxieties (they come mostly after you've made your decision anyway) you do the responsible thing. You stay indoors. You don't look at the snow (though you think a lot about it) and you try to wait it all out. You hope that eventually you won't want to play in the snow after a while. You hope that by the time you open the door again you either won't want to be in the snow anymore, or the snow will be gone--completely melted away.
But what if you go back outside (for some innocent reason or out of necessity), and the snow is still there? What if you go back outside and not only is the snow still there, but you want to be apart of it more than ever before? Then what? And furthermore, what if you not only don't want to wait for another snow, but you don't even want another snow. What if you want this one and only this one no matter what your head says? It's a conundrum. And a tough one.
Now obviously this is far from a perfect metaphor, and snow represents more than one thing here (keep this in mind). But this was the only way I could think of to talk about what I'm trying to address here. It's 2:52AM right now and all I can think is, "I'm caught in a blizzard."
Sometimes feelings are the same way. Sometimes you like someone. No--you don't just like them. You care about them more than you have ever cared for someone that way before. And all you can think is "Why now?" It's precisely the wrong time for this kind of weather. But what can you do? You can no more stop your feelings than you can stop the flakes of snow from falling from the sky. It's impossible. What you really need is a big cosmic switch that would allow you to close off your heart to all such feelings when the time is inconvenient.
Well maybe there are no cosmic switches. Perhaps you can't clog up the clouds or stop up your heart, but you can stay indoors. You can refuse to allow yourself to go outside and play in the white fluffy snow. After all, the timing is all wrong. You don't have what you need. No winter clothes, no sweaters or hats or gloves... Instead you bar yourself off from the play and sledding and snowman building. After all, it's what's best for you right now. You can go outside and have a good time now in the magical winter wonderland (and pay for it later with pneumonia and bronchitis) or you can stay indoors and enjoy the snow that will invariably fall (or so they say--again, if you live where I do there's no guarantee) next winter--when you're ready.
But while this may be the logical thing to do, you aren't completely settled to go through with this plan. Instead your heart and head come head to head and fight inside you, keeping you from any moments of peace. Your head wants you to stay inside. Your head tells you that this is what is best for you. It says that if you were really as mature and as smart as you wanted everyone to believe you to be, as you want to believe you are, you would go through with your original plan. Not only that, you would execute it with dignity, self-control, and grace.
But your heart--your heart wants you go out and enjoy the snow now. It wants you to skip all the logic and listen to the reasoning of emotion. After all, who is to say you will get sick? Not everyone who goes outside without gloves comes down ill later. Anyway. . . this is a great snow, one of the best you've ever experienced. It seems nearly perfect (then again, you haven't really seen enough snow to be able to judge, have you?). You want to enjoy this snow now. After all, if you wait till next winter the snow that comes might be grainier, or stickier, or not sticky enough, or too thin. Or worse yet, there may be no snow at all next winter, or the next. Who knows when snow will come again?
But despite these anxieties (they come mostly after you've made your decision anyway) you do the responsible thing. You stay indoors. You don't look at the snow (though you think a lot about it) and you try to wait it all out. You hope that eventually you won't want to play in the snow after a while. You hope that by the time you open the door again you either won't want to be in the snow anymore, or the snow will be gone--completely melted away.
But what if you go back outside (for some innocent reason or out of necessity), and the snow is still there? What if you go back outside and not only is the snow still there, but you want to be apart of it more than ever before? Then what? And furthermore, what if you not only don't want to wait for another snow, but you don't even want another snow. What if you want this one and only this one no matter what your head says? It's a conundrum. And a tough one.
Now obviously this is far from a perfect metaphor, and snow represents more than one thing here (keep this in mind). But this was the only way I could think of to talk about what I'm trying to address here. It's 2:52AM right now and all I can think is, "I'm caught in a blizzard."
Friday, June 20, 2008
Classic Girl Moment
So . . . for reasons I do not care to expound upon at this moment in internet universe:
I am currently having a classic girl moment. Or at least I had a classic girl moment. I was having a really difficult day so I holed myself in my room and read a cheesy teen novel. Now my mind is full of so much nonsense that I'm returning the book at first opportunity. But, left with no other option I retreated to the kitchen around 12:30am to console myself with popcorn and Roma (fake coffee--health nut family, what can I say?). Most unfortunately we were out of ice cream, but that's probably for my own good.
You know, there are days when a girl doesn't know how to handle stuff. For me this was...one of those days. And don't worry all you health and wellness people. I am beyond late night ice cream binges. It's food. Not love . . . I just-- keep-- sayin' that . . .
No really, I am totally kidding here :P But late night tea and TV, mundane and pathetic as it may sound, is actually quite relaxing. Sometimes a little self medication is actually beneficial. As long as it doesn't go too far, and you're smart and healthy about the ways in which you get the endorphins running. For instance, tea at 1am, good. Five scoops of ice cream at 1am, probably not so good. A thick novel in the open window, good. Throwing large pieces of furniture from the window . . . without removing the screen--eeeeh, a little iffy. Building large explosions in the cow pasture across the street that shake several houses down the block? . . . just kidding :P
Anyway . . . it's about 1:46am and so far I have said absolutely nothing of significance so I'm going to go to turn off this computer, crawl back upstairs, and go to bed. 'Night world.
I am currently having a classic girl moment. Or at least I had a classic girl moment. I was having a really difficult day so I holed myself in my room and read a cheesy teen novel. Now my mind is full of so much nonsense that I'm returning the book at first opportunity. But, left with no other option I retreated to the kitchen around 12:30am to console myself with popcorn and Roma (fake coffee--health nut family, what can I say?). Most unfortunately we were out of ice cream, but that's probably for my own good.
You know, there are days when a girl doesn't know how to handle stuff. For me this was...one of those days. And don't worry all you health and wellness people. I am beyond late night ice cream binges. It's food. Not love . . . I just-- keep-- sayin' that . . .
No really, I am totally kidding here :P But late night tea and TV, mundane and pathetic as it may sound, is actually quite relaxing. Sometimes a little self medication is actually beneficial. As long as it doesn't go too far, and you're smart and healthy about the ways in which you get the endorphins running. For instance, tea at 1am, good. Five scoops of ice cream at 1am, probably not so good. A thick novel in the open window, good. Throwing large pieces of furniture from the window . . . without removing the screen--eeeeh, a little iffy. Building large explosions in the cow pasture across the street that shake several houses down the block? . . . just kidding :P
Anyway . . . it's about 1:46am and so far I have said absolutely nothing of significance so I'm going to go to turn off this computer, crawl back upstairs, and go to bed. 'Night world.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Summer
Now I love this season. BUT IT IS HOT!! The air conditioning at my house when ka-put for absolutely no reason and I'm typing here in front of the downstairs computer in an 86-degree stagnant environment with sweat on my neck and my jeans sticking to my legs against the vinyl office chair. It SUCKS. To make matters worse my bedroom is upstairs. You know what they say about heat rising . . .
It's actually a lot cooler now outside but it's going to take awhile before the house cools down enough for activities such as eating, sleeping, or moving in general. Already I can feel a halo of heat around my hands just from typing on the computer (I type at about 60-75wpm on average). Anyway...
So for the sake of my own sanity I decided to make a list of the top ten cool tings that keep me from feeling like I'm living in an oven. And they are . . .
It's actually a lot cooler now outside but it's going to take awhile before the house cools down enough for activities such as eating, sleeping, or moving in general. Already I can feel a halo of heat around my hands just from typing on the computer (I type at about 60-75wpm on average). Anyway...
So for the sake of my own sanity I decided to make a list of the top ten cool tings that keep me from feeling like I'm living in an oven. And they are . . .
- Ice--as in ice cream, ice tea, ice lemonade . . .
- Ice cream (I mixed French Vanilla ice cream with a half cup of cold roma today...it was ah-mazing)
- Ice Tea--(anyone getting deja voux?) (anyone know how to spell deja voux?) Back up the sugar and up the tang.
- Lemonade--"Only twenty-five cents a glass!"
- Popsicles--what could be more attractive than blue lips?
- Water . . . need I say more?
- Swimming pools--these watery boxes actually aren't really my friends, but if there's a shallow end I can be persuaded to risk my life . . . again . . .
- Lakes--A lake can be refreshing even in August. I can't think of many things better than hiking around, or rowing in a cool mountain lake.
- Rain--Nothing more refreshing than standing out on the porch during the storm and letting the rain soak you straight through. It may mean laudery later but...it's totally worth it.
- AND FINALLY FOR THE GRAND FINALLY! DA-DA-DA DAT! DA-DAH!! Sprinklers--It's a lot of fun to run back forth barefoot through the sprinklers like a little kid. It's even better if there's more than one. Suddenly it becomes a game as you alternately doge and face the spray.
This Blog
Hey guys. If you're reading this it's probably because you've seen my other blog "Through the Prism". When I originally started blogging I wanted to talk about "The Issues". But as time wore on my entries became increasingly about what was going on in my head instead of the serious community and world impacting blogs I'd hoped to write. So I split my blog in two. This is "Valley Girl Chat" (I live in a valley, it's a dumb joke, I know :P). What you'll find here is pretty much whatever I feel like talking about. But since there are lots of blogs at "Through the Prism" (http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com) that relate more the purpose of this blog (or that could fit in either place), I am including a list of links from my old blog (from newest to oldest) that you might want to check out. In the meantime, read and enjoy!
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/05/make-up.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/04/phone-calls.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/04/enough.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/04/friendship.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/03/withering-looks.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/03/insecurity.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/03/weird-dream.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/02/questions-part-2.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/02/questions-part-1.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/01/filters-and-masks.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2008/01/happy-new-year.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/relationship-roundabouts.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/christmas-day-yaa.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/christmas-present-connundrums.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/how-my-mind-works.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-29-holidays.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-27-relationships-ii.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-25-relationships.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-24-movement.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-23-confidence.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-22-stupidity.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-21-first-day-of-school.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-19-graceful.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-18-aaaaaaaugh.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-3-commitmentfrustrated-ravings.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-6-random-thoughts.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-7-my-life.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-8-acro-knights-home-show.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-11-random-social-thoughts.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-12-impracticality-of-fitting-in.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-15-basketball-withdrawal.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-16-sappy-thoughts.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-17-thinking-inside-box.html
- http://rawktheboat.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-1.html
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