Doing the Right Thing

You know, when you're little, it's easy to know right from wrong. Even if you don't always do it. You know you're supposed to be kind to the other kids. You know how to share, how to be polite and talk to teachers and adults. It's not to hard to understand that stealing is wrong, or that when Mommy says, "Don't touch that," you are to obey. Say "please" and "thank you", and accept gifts with a smile and life will be okay.

But the older we get the more complex the issues become. Suddenly there are rights, opinions, and principles to consider. Get still older and one must think about the affects on both the short and long term. One has to ask, "Will I regret this in a year? In five years? In a decade?I've been finding out the last couple weeks that the differences between right and wrong aren't always cut and dry. Sometimes it's difficult to know what's right. Or let's forget 'right' altogether, what's best for everyone? How can you know? What does one do when the beliefs they've held for so long suddenly seem to become irrelevant? What does one do when circumstances change? When people change? When feelings change?

I've never been great at decisions. I mean, I've always been pretty solid in my convictions, but ask me what movie I want to see or whether to go pizza or Chinese and I'm as clueless as they come. Unfortunately this trend spreads to other areas of my life. I don't like grey. I may be able to make up my mind about gay marriage, capital punishment, or stem cell research, but in my own personal life, when it comes down the grey areas in my own heart and home, I struggle.

For Christians there is a very wise and concise plan for decision making already laid out (I don't know if this is it, but it's what I've gathered from my personal study). First one must establish their own moral views and feelings on the issue (Romans 14:23 "....whatever is not from faith is sin."). Then they must seek the guidance of God (Blank blank:blank "..."), and the guidance of trusted friends of relations (Proverbs blank:blank "..."). After this is done, one must make their decision and hold to it. But even after this process, success (success being the assurance of having done the 'right' thing) isn't always certain.

I can remember the last time I was deliberate about going through this process. After I had made my decision, even though I felt sick over the consequences to others, I had a peace that I had done the right thing. Unfortunately, doing the right thing can mean hurting others . . . But now I rather quickly find myself in the same position again. I want to do the right thing by everyone. I don't want anyone to get hurt either immediately, or in the long run. I've done lots of praying, asking God what he wants me to do in the situation, and asking Him to help me make the right decision. And right now I'm looking to others, friends, family, and my youth pastor, to help guide me in this area. But even though I know that God will lead me, there is still a nagging worry that I'll do the wrong thing, and either now, or later, someone will get hurt. I miss the days when I could just ask Daddy what to do. I miss the days when all I had to think about was how my parents, teachers, or siblings would feel about the issue. I miss the days when my biggest worries, were whether or not I would get in trouble.

Now that I'm older there is no one to "punish" me if I don't make a decision quite in line with what is right, whatever "right" is. Instead I have only the plain, cold consequences of my actions to answer to. It's actually pretty scary. What's scarrier, is that a part of me thinks that no matter what I do, there will be no total avoidance of pain. Perhaps there is no way to make sure everyone wins all the time. And that's what makes life's tough decisions absolutely heartbreaking.