Valentine's Day

Christmas has its lights, and Thanksgiving, its turkey. Halloween drowns in sugar and candy, and even St. Patrick's Day doesn't pass without a friendly pinch, but no other holiday acknowledges love, and sweetness the way our beloved Valentine's Day does. The truth is, most people have pretty mixed feelings about February 14, also widely known by the cynics and the bitter as Single's Awareness Day (it's no accident that the letters of this acronym spell "SAD").

On one hand, those who are happily married, or otherwise committed usually take the opportunity to trade gifts, go on romantic dates, and make everyone sick to their stomachs with their syrupy sweet (and often lengthy) public displays of affection. All the girls who have relationships, of course, use this as yet another opportunity for ridiculously jejune, yet classically feminine competition. They get together in small groups and compare the things their boyfriend's got them. A teddy bear here, a dozen roses there, a bouquet of flowers, a Valentine card. On occasion one girl manages to wow the group with a treasure truly original, proving once and for all that her boyfriend is superior to all her friend's beaus, and thus proving her superiority as a girl for having hooked such a gentleman.

Then there are those who, while happily attached, find the whole fluffy affair a bit much to handle. They drown helplessly in the pools of melted candy hearts, and from the time they sneeze themselves out of the rose petal bed, to when they sink into the lacy sheets at night, they feel little more than awkwardness and discomfort. "After all," many such couples say, "why should couples have to wait until February to show their significant others how they feel about them? It all seems so fake, so calculated..." The sentiments are genuine. Let's face it, Valentine's Day is a commercial holidayWhile these couples may enjoy the opportunity to do something special together, they don't enjoy the artificiality of the scheduled focus on romance. . And they certainly don't enjoy the abundance of attention from other people.

Finally, there are those who are single and resigned, if not happy (some people are better at rocking the single thing better than others). I was once one such person a year ago. Before my recent status change (going on seven months in case anyone wanted to know:D) I was resigned to single life, and for the most part, I was okay with it. I was a little envious of the girls who's daddies got them flowers or chocolate. My dad has never been much of a holiday type. He likes them, but he doesn't put tons of thought into them. And I treasured the small gifts from my girlfriends (I've never been much of a gift giver either, at least, not without lots of effort on my part), but the holiday just never sang to me. No worry, there was Christmas, and the piles of candy from friends carried me through the holiday lull to July 4.

Overall, most people manage to get through the holiday without too much discomfort or bitterness. In fact, I'd venture to say that most people like Valentine's Day (whether or not they're willing to admit it). But when one changes relational status they suddenly have to face the question of "what now?" Whether it be because of a recent brake up, or a new relationship , the first Valentine's Day after the fact always leaves one a little unsure of how they should respond to the holiday.

This is exactly the conundrum I'm facing now. It's my first Valentine's Day with my current (and incidentally, first) beau, and I haven't the slightest clue what I should do. Neither of us do. We talked about spending the day together, going out to eat, taking a walk... but these are all things we've done before. We're not exactly the most romance oriented couple. We enjoy spending time together, and he is amazingly sweet, but we're not particularly original. 

A couple days ago this fact truly bothered me. I mean, it's my first Valentine's Day as part of a "we" and I want it to be special. But it was only tonight that the obvious hit me. What makes the day special isn't what we do (nooooo, really?) it's about us. It's about two people taking extra time to enjoy their relationship. It's about expressing a love that doesn't need lots of frills or flowers to speak adequately (though I wouldn't at all mind a bouquet of roses--in case anyone was wondering :P).

I informed my dearest that I don't mind surprises, but when all is said and done there is something to be said for the classic eat out before curling up on the couch to watch a nice movie. Some would say this sounds plain, but with my man? sounds like a good evening to me.