I don't know what love is either, but I have my theories. I think love is a verb. It's an action. When you do what is best for someone else you are loving them, even if you aren't "in love" with them. And the feelings--all the gooey, warm, fluttery feelings that one get's with their special someone--complete the picture. Add to that total acceptance of a person and their foibles and that's when "loving" meets being "in love". It all goes together. But if you have the first part (doing what's best for someone else) than the feelings can come and go without too much damage. Because feelings do that. One week you're totally head over heals, the next you don't even know if you can trust them, and you're questioning if you should even be together.
Lately I've been thinking a lot about what relationships are about and what love is. It's such a sticky topic. It's difficult, scary, and full of potential landmines. Part of the problem is that people throw the word 'love' around like it's a football. I can love food, basketball, my parents, pizza, books, politics, wing backed chairs, and you all at the same time. It's crazy. And I never really felt like I had to invest a lot of time into the idea until I started dating.
Now I'm going to say right now that no declarations of undying love or affection for my significant other will happen here. It's neither the appropriate place or audience and not to mention... uh, personal? But I have been trying to dissect the issue and I have a few questions:
- Is it possible for to be "in love" at any age?
- Is it possible to truly love at any age?
- What should you do if you've already fallen in love?
- Is there a difference between 'loving' and being 'in love' and if so, what?
- What does love mean? What is the end result?
- Does love (between a guy and girl) always mean they should (ideally--baring other factors such as money, proximity, etc.) get married?
- Why do two people seem to love each other one year, and not the next?
- If two people stop loving each other, were they ever in love to begin with?
- What do you do when you love someone who doesn't love you back?
- What if you think someone loves you and you don't feel the same way?
1 comment:
When I love someone who doesn't love me back, it hurts but I know I have to get over it. So I distance myself from that person, knowing that things won't work out and I should stop wasting my time. I don't start looking for love elsewhere, I just stop looking for love in that person. It's a slow process and it's very difficult to get over someone. I can't make myself get over someone, it just has to happen. And the only way to make that happen is to stop spending time with that person. All the crushes I've ever had have disappeared during the summer. I don't see them at school during the summer, so not seeing them makes it easier to move on.
Now, what to do if I think someone loves me who I don't love back. I try to get to know that person a little, and see if I could go anywhere with that person. But as of yet the people I know who've liked me weren't worth dating. So I do my best to be nice and polite to that person, but nothing that would lead them on. No phone calls, no e-mails, no gifts. If that person turns into a stalker who follows me around and kisses the ground I walk upon, then I surround myself with friends who will protect me and put a barrier between me and that person. I do not accept dates from people I would not want to date. When they ask me out I politely turn them down. Saying yes would lead them on, and also I would not have a fun time on a date with someone I couldn't stand. Be nice to the other person's feelings because you'd want the person you like to respect yours, but also be firm and don't give in if it's a situation you would not be comfortable with.
Post a Comment